the too-hot hipsters and the big squirt

sunday afternoon, blue sky, brisk.  i'm walking up 39th avenue to the fine grind.  in my left hand is a cigarette and in my right, a big bottle of ruby red squirt.  i see about a block or two down the street and coming toward me, one of those very typical, very attractive, always pissed-off-looking, portland hipster couples - tight black, slicked back but messed up and in boots.  and i panic.  when this hipster couple sees me, they're gonna think i'm just a guy who walks around smoking cigarettes and drinking squirt.  but i'm not.  i know it looks like i am that guy, what with the cigarette and the big squirt.  but no.  i'm more.  i'm... well i may be a lot of things but some dirtbag out on the street smoking and drinking squirt, i'm not.  and then they walk past.  and... you know what hit me about ten seconds later.  "dave, you are a guy who smokes and drinks squirt.  I mean look at you, dave.  you're smoking and drinking that ruby red squirt.  why would you want to hide that from people?"  I'm so crazy.